For some reason I can no longer scroll down to see the whole text page. :( I can scroll in the text box but the text box itself isn't showing completely. I used to be able to click on the side and scroll down to see the whole text box, but now I can't.
i'm assuming this is on mobile? if so, you should be able to scroll from any part of the screen. i used to have two scrollbars (which i think is what you're referring to) but i got rid of one because, well. it was excessive. if you want to shoot me an email (evertidings@gmail.com) i can also have a look for you!
I love the the new chapter 9 part 2. We got to the more serious Rylan, and finally we can win a fight even tho we playing dirty! 🎉
Also finally got to see more my girl Noele! From chapter 9 part 2 🥹. But I just got less to see my boi rylan 🥲. (still cheering for the poly route for rylan and Noele✌️)
AHHH this new update is so good!! i knew it would be but man, that exceeded my expectations. i'm loving where this is going and i cant wait to see whats in store for us in chapter 10!! keep up the good work :)
oh no :( that might be my fault because i had to put the game on private for a hot minute. hopefully it doesn’t take too long for you to speed through it all though !
the story is honestly so great I don't mind all that much. Was just a bit of a bummer because I was excited to instantly play the update. I love your writing tho ♥️
Love this story so much, Blane and Arion are my babies and nobody can tell me otherwise. I'm excited about the poly option for them! Just seeing MC in a poly with those two is going to be interesting, I can just imagine those two fighting over MC's attention.
muahhh thank you! very excited to show that relationship between the three of them. i can't say it'll be 'fighting over the mc's attention' exactly, but i promise it'll be just as enticing :))
AHH I LOVE THIS!!! This is one of my fav IFs, I love the characters AND THE WRITING IN THIS STORY AYIGCNJNBVCXS, it's so good! I love the story you've written so far and on a less fangirl note thank you for creating this wonderful story and keep up the amazing work, I'm excited for the next chapter <3
gahhh thank you!! i love fangirling haha and it makes me so giddy that people do it over my story no less. thank you for reading, thank you for loving my characters <3
omg I love this so much, I’m invested in all the story and love all the characters sooooo much!! Keep up the amazing work and I’m so excited for the next chapter!!
This is one of my favorite stories and it’s SO LONG AND I LOVE IT!! I get more of the characters and am able to see more in-depth of everyone’s personalities along with the story. I’m absolutely IN LOVE WITH RYLAN THO AHHHH
ahh thank you thank you!! i'm so happy you enjoy reading!! it definitely took a while for it to reach the word count it is at but i'm happy to provide the content :))
OMG A NEW UPDATE!!! I absolutely loved reading this… and thanks for taking the time to make this so long Ik it must of taken a long time BUT trust me it does NOT go unnoticed!! You are an AMAZING writer and Ty sm for replying! I appreciate it sooo much 🥰 lmao I kid you not I’ve replayed this like 5 times 💀 and I never get tired of it.
awww thank you!! playing it even once means the world to me so playing it five times is like, five laps around the world?? lol. thank you for your support and love <3
oh i love this. the characters are SO wonderful i've been going back to try every single option lolol i especially love adair and kaia they are definitely my favorites!!
this is so interesting and the way we slowly build up our relationship with them is even better.the fact that they argue a lot makes it so realistic,maybe because it’s written very good- good job ! this is turning fantastic,can’t wait for the next update on the continuation of the chapter 9- i am trembling from how excited i am about the plot. lol kian is so misterious in a way that i can0t help but follow the path to see more of his story and romance building up.btw on my pc, it does not let me save,it says error and other type of error writing,idk why.the autosave tho is working,so ia mglad about it, keep up the good work!
if you're playing on the itch.io app, you need to enable "autoname saves" in settings for it to save :)) but thank you for playing!! i'm excited to show you more of everyone's relationships and k's mystery hehe
one of my absolute favourite games - such compelling characters and writing and a delicious supernatural setting that doesn't feel tired. the twine demo feels like such a huge upgrade, it's just absolutely gorgeous and really adds to the vibe.
the last sentence about the twine demo :((( it makes me really happy that people came from choicescript and followed me here, even more that people see it as a good thing. thank you thank you. i'm so glad you like my story <3
This game was great! These little guys have so much character, charm, and dynamics in them - 10/10, would put them all in a jar and watch them argue with each other
thank you thank you. i'm so glad you enjoyed. if i were to put them in a jar, i'm sure they'd all tumble out with a couple of bruises (not excluding their egos) and pouts, though that's a theory that remains to be tested. not that it wouldn't be funny as hell.
there will be a A & Blane vee poly and a A & Rylan triad poly. i've been asked about a Blane & N / K & Rylan poly in the past but don't see myself doing either as i find them out of character. and no, this story isn't discontinued. i just haven't updated in a while due to writer's block and personal circumstances <3
I am in love with A and how they were written. I am a demiromantic person so I always go for the best friend routes and this game didn't disappoint in that regard. Keep up the good work!
I want to start off by saying that I think this game has a lot of potential and that there's a lot of really good aspects of it. The MC customization options, in terms of appearance, are varied and inclusive, the premise of the story is interesting, the agency is intriguing, the supporting characters feel like real characters and not just supporting bits for the story to progress, and the pacing is really well done. I can't emphasize enough that there's a lot going for this IF.
However, there are somethings that I've noticed that have made multiple playthroughs of this, when it was still in choicescript and now, feel like a "death by a thousand cuts" situation for me. I'll try to start with the bigger things and then go to the smaller things just to try to make things easier to keep track of.
The MC and Their Role:
This is something I've had a hard time putting into words but I think I've finally figured out how to say what I want to say. The MC in this story doesn't feel important or necessary in a way that feels natural. Your MC's skills rarely make a difference in situations, their opinion is usually asked for but then discarded when it comes to major decisions, and the MC ends up feeling like a supporting character to the characters around them.
The MC and Their Skills (Explained More In-Depth):
While I definitely understand that there are plot points that can't be changed, it would feel better as a player if your character wasn't put in a situation where they were playing to their strengths but still losing anyway. Not only does it feel like your character is just incompetent from a narrative standpoint, it gives poor feedback to the player in terms of game mechanics and makes for a poorer experience overall.
In game, the MC is described as a bit of a badass with their partner A, as both are top of their agency. However, this doesn't translate to the game that we play; any encounter with R where the MC chooses to fight/resist ends with a loss. Now obviously R has to get away no matter what but some flavor text for MCs who have combat as a strong skill would go a long way instead of the MC being completely outmatched no matter what. Cunning characters should have more "knowledge" of things like the club and how it would operate/what would be needed to get a meeting with the head of the club. (Trying not to spoil much here.) Again, just some flavor text would go a long way here.
The Stats and the Implications:
The stats themselves are very much what you might expect from an IF so this specific part might be more about IFs as a whole but it also still applies here. Some of the stats are not actually opposing when they are treated as such; for example, one can be a laidback person but also intimidating. This might be a bit of an obscure reference, but there is a character in the book Gone named Drake that is a very laidback person but is also considered very intimidating by the people around him. His nonchalance and uncaring attitude actually amplify his intimidating nature. The same could be said for Genuine vs Sarcastic; sarcastic reads more like a type of humor or temperament whereas genuine seems to be treated by the game as more like, "considerate."
The MC and Player Intention:
One thing I always look for when I play an IF is the ability to make an angry, surly, mean character. The reason I do this is not because I want to be a huge jerk, but rather I like comparing how angry MC runs hold up against MCs who are played as kind as possible. For me, what makes a game a cut above the rest is how a game accounts for a player playing an MC in a way that the author might not play themselves. With that said, this particular game offers a lot in terms of letting you play an angry character who doesn't get along with anyone and that's great and I applaud that 1000%.
However, the game lacks follow-through on this front. Just as an example, if a person is playing an MC that doesn't get along with R there shouldn't be lines where the MC is thinking about how easy it is to talk to R and how they almost feel like friends. It breaks immersion completely. Small things like this can take good games, like this game is, and make them really great games. Essentially, what this also boils down to, is adding/changing flavor text that accounts for the MC's personality and relationships with other characters would really benefit the game.
The MC and Supporting Characters:
I mentioned earlier that it feels like the MC is a supporting character rather than the main character. Now, I know how this sounds, but I don't think that a story should be wholly focused on the MC. In fact stories are often boring if the MC is treated like a god. With that being said, I'll get into the actual important things.
The MC feels like a reactive character surrounded by proactive characters. All of the supporting characters will do things despite what the MC might have to say about it. The only four times I can think of the MC being proactive in the story is their choice to either follow their own plan or trust A's, telling everyone to be quiet at the meeting if they choose to, choosing whether or not to fight R in their apartment, and choosing whether or not they want to get involved in the investigation with A. Giving the MC more choices in how they address situations would greatly benefit the story and make them feel like they were more apart of it.
General Thoughts:
I really want to preface this by saying I am not trying to insult the author or saying any of this with any negative intent. This is just how I am personally interpreting what I have read in the game and what I have read on their Tumblr.
It feels as though the author has created a world that they love and a cast of characters that they love and this love shows immensely. It's always touching to see an author who so clearly loves the things they're writing.
However, as it stands now it doesn't feel like the author loves the MC or the idea of an MC doing things in the game that they wouldn't do. Still, this is something that I would recommend playing if you've any interest it this genre at all.
thank you for the feedback! i got a comment about this a little while ago so i'll tell you what i told them, which is basically: yes, i agree. i didn't realize it was this much of a problem until now, but i do recognize that i've neglected certain stats and customizations. i truly do want playthroughs to feel individualized to you, so my plan is to, before the rest of chapter nine goes live, go back and edit the previous chapters to reflect this.
please note that i won't be able to change major plot points (Rylan getting away, the hunter or an ro getting injured at Crimson), but i will do my best. for example, i might lessen the injury for a hunter who is combat oriented or allow a hunter who is cunning to sneak in a weapon in Crimson more smoothly. i hope that these small additions will make the game a little better <3
I'm not very good with reviews, but I have to say this piece of interactive fiction is so fun to read. I love how everything unfolds, the mystery, the characters, etc. It's all so interesting to read! I like the pacing, the way new information is revealed, how the scenes are written. I like the format & design of the reader as well, it's really comfortable and easy on the eyes. Character customization is surprisingly detailed, in a good way of course. Also... Blake & Rylan have captured my heart haha :) Keep up the amazing work, Author <3
I didn't think I liked urban fantasy or text-based romances.
BZZZT! WRONG! This story is paced really comfortably, there is not a single main character that's not likable, and, oh, it's late and I still have homework. Oops.
I do feel like the character customization isn't really mentioned in later chapters, but that's hardly enough to put me off because of how well done and charming the story and characters are.
Everyone reading the reviews: play the gaaame! dooo it!!
thank you so much for the compliment! i do recognize that character customization is a bit lacking in later chapters so, as mentioned to other people, i plan to go back and make some changes before the rest of chapter nine goes live. hopefully it'll make playthroughs more individual <3
I've been coming back to this game for a while and it has its charms. The story is well paced, the LIs are numerous and varied in their personalities (although they bicker way too much among themselves which can get pretty annoying).
My main issue however is with the player character. I have tried a few personality styles and backgrounds and can't help but dislike my own character. Let me explain; at the start of the game you can choose all the usual customization options that are luckily quite varied but rarely come up again. Then you choose an area of expertise like combat or gadgets etc.
The upsetting part is that none of it matters. You're supposedly this expert hunter/agent character but you are absolutely useless in all situations. Did you pick a good fighter? Too bad because you'll get your ass kicked in every instance that a fight is involved. Are you brainy? Doesn't matter because all of the other characters will explain things to you and make all the plans themselves.
Your player character is totally helpless in every situation and I found this to be quite frustrating. They are completely reliant on those around them and without agency except on who they choose to pursue as an LI.
I like this game and I think the author is talented. I just wish that more consideration was taken into making the PC feel more active (and fun to play as) in the story rather than just us the players being told they're good at what they do. From what I played they aren't at all and it makes no sense that any of these people would like them.
i have a lot of variables and admittedly, sometimes i forget about them. this stat is unfortunately one of them. i will take this into consideration the next time i update and add more flavour text where applicable. while this may not change the player character's inner dialogue too much, hopefully it will feel more personal to what you chose.
however, i cannot change major plot points. rylan needs to get away in chapter one in order for the story to move forward. i can definitely change the scene to accommodate the weapons skill by making it seem like the hunter is winning at first, but they cannot win overall. furthermore, the 'fight' in chapter seven, had little fighting in itself and had more to do with the element of surprise. the hunter was injured mainly because they were caught off guard. however, once again, i can do what i will do to chapter one and lessen the damage for those who have high combat skills.
i appreciate the feedback and the constructive criticism. thank you for being kind about it.
Thank you for taking the time to reply and for seeing what I wrote for what it is: constructive criticism. Like you said some flavor text here and there related to the PC's personality and speciality would go a long way in making them more a central and well defined character in the story. It could be little things like characters saying "don't expect much conversation from them" if you play your character as stoic or "you're in your element in this club" if the PC is more outgoing. I'm not advocating for stat checks and I'm so glad you don't have that in this game. It's honestly refreshing not having to stress about that kind of thing.
I get also how this can be difficult since you offer so many choices to every situation which is pretty awesome. It would, I think, be even better if there were just more acknowledgements here and there about it from the NPCs. You put so much love and attention into the NPCs (it shows) and I think the PC can benefit from that too.
I don't expect or think you need to change plot element like Rylan getting away either and absolutely understand that choice.
I'll say this in closing: yours is one of the best IFs I've ever played on this site and I've played a lot of them. Keep up the good work. I can't wait to see what happens next.
thank you!! once again, i really appreciate the feedback and completely see where you're coming from. i'll add more flavour text with the next update in hopes of personalizing the story a little more <33
currently aiming for it to be chapter seventeen or so, with an epilogue to follow. this is the first of a trilogy, however, so there will be plenty more content to follow.
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I NEED MORE ROMANCE PLEASEEEEEEE
Awesome experience.
...is Blane jealous of Arden or something?
They're definitely jealous of their ranking. Can't tell if it's anything more than that.
For some reason I can no longer scroll down to see the whole text page. :( I can scroll in the text box but the text box itself isn't showing completely. I used to be able to click on the side and scroll down to see the whole text box, but now I can't.
i'm assuming this is on mobile? if so, you should be able to scroll from any part of the screen. i used to have two scrollbars (which i think is what you're referring to) but i got rid of one because, well. it was excessive. if you want to shoot me an email (evertidings@gmail.com) i can also have a look for you!
really loved the game! Devastated once I reached the end because I'll have to start waiting for updates lol
haha at least being caught up means you know what everyone's talking about now? thank you for playing <3
At least hahaha, also looking forward for the next update. Sending support!
I love this 🤩🤩 I played it twice until chapter 9 and I can't wait for the update. K is the sweetest how is that even possible
ahh thank you!! live laugh love k de vries
i literally love blane sm <3 and the bathroom scene with him!! omg!!
this is so amazing! can't wait for chapter 10!!
muahhh thank you! the bathroom scene was such an experience for me to write, i'm glad you like it <3
I love the the new chapter 9 part 2. We got to the more serious Rylan, and finally we can win a fight even tho we playing dirty! 🎉
Also finally got to see more my girl Noele! From chapter 9 part 2 🥹. But I just got less to see my boi rylan 🥲. (still cheering for the poly route for rylan and Noele✌️)
you can win the fight by playing fair as well! the playing dirty option just has a lot more, uh, hits to vulgar areas. thanks for playing ! <3
this is a wonderful game, the narrative, the characters, everything in this is absolutely perfect, truly the best game experience I've had all year
really can't wait for chapter 10, I'm obsessed with this❤
gosh thank you so much. what a compliment. thank you thank you. i can't wait to give you chapter ten <3
recently got into IF's and i'm so glad I did cause otherwise I wouldn't have found this amazing story I love blane sm cant wait to see what's next ❤️
so glad you're here! it's a wonderful genre and i'm pleased to have been part of your journey with it. thank you for playing <3
i saw the contact name thing and I immediately but ‘grumpyboi<3’ for blane, I loved the update!
ahahhaha that's perfect. thank you for playing! <3
AHHH this new update is so good!! i knew it would be but man, that exceeded my expectations. i'm loving where this is going and i cant wait to see whats in store for us in chapter 10!! keep up the good work :)
eeeek thank you! so happy you liked it <3
All my saves are gone jesus im so sad now
oh no :( that might be my fault because i had to put the game on private for a hot minute. hopefully it doesn’t take too long for you to speed through it all though !
the story is honestly so great I don't mind all that much. Was just a bit of a bummer because I was excited to instantly play the update. I love your writing tho ♥️
thank you!! hope it wasn’t too much of a hassle <3
Hi! Am i supposed to restart the whole game to get part 2? My game ends at the Brooklyn heights pov.
that is the update ! the new content begins at the branch split (find blane, stay with a/n, follow k/rylan) and continues until sebastian’s pov :)
Ohhh ok, i was confused for a minute lol. Thank you for the reply and good luck with the future updates!
Day 4 of getting blane to like my mc
Let's goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
NEW UPDATE
hope you like it :)))
Ur telling me Pookiebear00 isn't the correct code
maybe next time hehe
Found this IF after stumbling around the site. Glad to say that I stuck with it.
i'm glad you're here!!
Can't wait for new update!1!1!
Love this story so much, Blane and Arion are my babies and nobody can tell me otherwise. I'm excited about the poly option for them! Just seeing MC in a poly with those two is going to be interesting, I can just imagine those two fighting over MC's attention.
muahhh thank you! very excited to show that relationship between the three of them. i can't say it'll be 'fighting over the mc's attention' exactly, but i promise it'll be just as enticing :))
FINALLY A UPDATE🎉🎉🎉
AHH I LOVE THIS!!! This is one of my fav IFs, I love the characters AND THE WRITING IN THIS STORY AYIGCNJNBVCXS, it's so good! I love the story you've written so far and on a less fangirl note thank you for creating this wonderful story and keep up the amazing work, I'm excited for the next chapter <3
gahhh thank you!! i love fangirling haha and it makes me so giddy that people do it over my story no less. thank you for reading, thank you for loving my characters <3
omg I love this so much, I’m invested in all the story and love all the characters sooooo much!! Keep up the amazing work and I’m so excited for the next chapter!!
This is one of my favorite stories and it’s SO LONG AND I LOVE IT!! I get more of the characters and am able to see more in-depth of everyone’s personalities along with the story. I’m absolutely IN LOVE WITH RYLAN THO AHHHH
ahh thank you thank you!! i'm so happy you enjoy reading!! it definitely took a while for it to reach the word count it is at but i'm happy to provide the content :))
OMG A NEW UPDATE!!! I absolutely loved reading this… and thanks for taking the time to make this so long Ik it must of taken a long time BUT trust me it does NOT go unnoticed!! You are an AMAZING writer and Ty sm for replying! I appreciate it sooo much 🥰 lmao I kid you not I’ve replayed this like 5 times 💀 and I never get tired of it.
awww thank you!! playing it even once means the world to me so playing it five times is like, five laps around the world?? lol. thank you for your support and love <3
oh i love this. the characters are SO wonderful i've been going back to try every single option lolol i especially love adair and kaia they are definitely my favorites!!
ahh thank you!! having people play routes for multiple ros is such a dream for me. i'm glad i've made them interesting enough for you to do so <333
this is so interesting and the way we slowly build up our relationship with them is even better.the fact that they argue a lot makes it so realistic,maybe because it’s written very good- good job ! this is turning fantastic,can’t wait for the next update on the continuation of the chapter 9- i am trembling from how excited i am about the plot. lol kian is so misterious in a way that i can0t help but follow the path to see more of his story and romance building up.btw on my pc, it does not let me save,it says error and other type of error writing,idk why.the autosave tho is working,so ia mglad about it, keep up the good work!
if you're playing on the itch.io app, you need to enable "autoname saves" in settings for it to save :)) but thank you for playing!! i'm excited to show you more of everyone's relationships and k's mystery hehe
Thank you so much!!and I can’t wait ~
one of my absolute favourite games - such compelling characters and writing and a delicious supernatural setting that doesn't feel tired. the twine demo feels like such a huge upgrade, it's just absolutely gorgeous and really adds to the vibe.
love love love xoxo
the last sentence about the twine demo :((( it makes me really happy that people came from choicescript and followed me here, even more that people see it as a good thing. thank you thank you. i'm so glad you like my story <3
This game was great! These little guys have so much character, charm, and dynamics in them - 10/10, would put them all in a jar and watch them argue with each other
thank you thank you. i'm so glad you enjoyed. if i were to put them in a jar, i'm sure they'd all tumble out with a couple of bruises (not excluding their egos) and pouts, though that's a theory that remains to be tested. not that it wouldn't be funny as hell.
Can i download this boi?
absolutely!
I might be a little bit fixated with this game XD a love it so much. And A? OMG! SO DAMN ADORABLE I JUST CAN'T... <3
Thank you so much for writing this game, seriously.
thank you for playing !! it means the world <3
I love rylan and noele! They are my main love interest in this game ❤️ goddamn I wish this game has poly route. (Is this game discontinued?)
there will be a A & Blane vee poly and a A & Rylan triad poly. i've been asked about a Blane & N / K & Rylan poly in the past but don't see myself doing either as i find them out of character. and no, this story isn't discontinued. i just haven't updated in a while due to writer's block and personal circumstances <3
for some reason i always go for the rival routes and Blane has my heart alreadyyy
this game has turned into one of my favorite interactive novels so tysm for writing! <3
ahhh thank you! i'm a huge fan of rival routes myself so Blane's route is something dear to my heart <3
I am in love with A and how they were written. I am a demiromantic person so I always go for the best friend routes and this game didn't disappoint in that regard. Keep up the good work!
so glad you're liking their route. friends to lovers is such a precious trope and i really want to do it justice <3
i love how it really feel like a novel, there’s not to much immersion but it still doesn’t feel boring to play, really loved it
thank you!!
I want to start off by saying that I think this game has a lot of potential and that there's a lot of really good aspects of it. The MC customization options, in terms of appearance, are varied and inclusive, the premise of the story is interesting, the agency is intriguing, the supporting characters feel like real characters and not just supporting bits for the story to progress, and the pacing is really well done. I can't emphasize enough that there's a lot going for this IF.
However, there are somethings that I've noticed that have made multiple playthroughs of this, when it was still in choicescript and now, feel like a "death by a thousand cuts" situation for me. I'll try to start with the bigger things and then go to the smaller things just to try to make things easier to keep track of.
The MC and Their Role:
This is something I've had a hard time putting into words but I think I've finally figured out how to say what I want to say. The MC in this story doesn't feel important or necessary in a way that feels natural. Your MC's skills rarely make a difference in situations, their opinion is usually asked for but then discarded when it comes to major decisions, and the MC ends up feeling like a supporting character to the characters around them.
The MC and Their Skills (Explained More In-Depth):
While I definitely understand that there are plot points that can't be changed, it would feel better as a player if your character wasn't put in a situation where they were playing to their strengths but still losing anyway. Not only does it feel like your character is just incompetent from a narrative standpoint, it gives poor feedback to the player in terms of game mechanics and makes for a poorer experience overall.
In game, the MC is described as a bit of a badass with their partner A, as both are top of their agency. However, this doesn't translate to the game that we play; any encounter with R where the MC chooses to fight/resist ends with a loss. Now obviously R has to get away no matter what but some flavor text for MCs who have combat as a strong skill would go a long way instead of the MC being completely outmatched no matter what. Cunning characters should have more "knowledge" of things like the club and how it would operate/what would be needed to get a meeting with the head of the club. (Trying not to spoil much here.) Again, just some flavor text would go a long way here.
The Stats and the Implications:
The stats themselves are very much what you might expect from an IF so this specific part might be more about IFs as a whole but it also still applies here. Some of the stats are not actually opposing when they are treated as such; for example, one can be a laidback person but also intimidating. This might be a bit of an obscure reference, but there is a character in the book Gone named Drake that is a very laidback person but is also considered very intimidating by the people around him. His nonchalance and uncaring attitude actually amplify his intimidating nature. The same could be said for Genuine vs Sarcastic; sarcastic reads more like a type of humor or temperament whereas genuine seems to be treated by the game as more like, "considerate."
The MC and Player Intention:
One thing I always look for when I play an IF is the ability to make an angry, surly, mean character. The reason I do this is not because I want to be a huge jerk, but rather I like comparing how angry MC runs hold up against MCs who are played as kind as possible. For me, what makes a game a cut above the rest is how a game accounts for a player playing an MC in a way that the author might not play themselves. With that said, this particular game offers a lot in terms of letting you play an angry character who doesn't get along with anyone and that's great and I applaud that 1000%.
However, the game lacks follow-through on this front. Just as an example, if a person is playing an MC that doesn't get along with R there shouldn't be lines where the MC is thinking about how easy it is to talk to R and how they almost feel like friends. It breaks immersion completely. Small things like this can take good games, like this game is, and make them really great games. Essentially, what this also boils down to, is adding/changing flavor text that accounts for the MC's personality and relationships with other characters would really benefit the game.
The MC and Supporting Characters:
I mentioned earlier that it feels like the MC is a supporting character rather than the main character. Now, I know how this sounds, but I don't think that a story should be wholly focused on the MC. In fact stories are often boring if the MC is treated like a god. With that being said, I'll get into the actual important things.
The MC feels like a reactive character surrounded by proactive characters. All of the supporting characters will do things despite what the MC might have to say about it. The only four times I can think of the MC being proactive in the story is their choice to either follow their own plan or trust A's, telling everyone to be quiet at the meeting if they choose to, choosing whether or not to fight R in their apartment, and choosing whether or not they want to get involved in the investigation with A. Giving the MC more choices in how they address situations would greatly benefit the story and make them feel like they were more apart of it.
General Thoughts:
I really want to preface this by saying I am not trying to insult the author or saying any of this with any negative intent. This is just how I am personally interpreting what I have read in the game and what I have read on their Tumblr.
It feels as though the author has created a world that they love and a cast of characters that they love and this love shows immensely. It's always touching to see an author who so clearly loves the things they're writing.
However, as it stands now it doesn't feel like the author loves the MC or the idea of an MC doing things in the game that they wouldn't do. Still, this is something that I would recommend playing if you've any interest it this genre at all.
thank you for the feedback! i got a comment about this a little while ago so i'll tell you what i told them, which is basically: yes, i agree. i didn't realize it was this much of a problem until now, but i do recognize that i've neglected certain stats and customizations. i truly do want playthroughs to feel individualized to you, so my plan is to, before the rest of chapter nine goes live, go back and edit the previous chapters to reflect this.
please note that i won't be able to change major plot points (Rylan getting away, the hunter or an ro getting injured at Crimson), but i will do my best. for example, i might lessen the injury for a hunter who is combat oriented or allow a hunter who is cunning to sneak in a weapon in Crimson more smoothly. i hope that these small additions will make the game a little better <3
I'm not very good with reviews, but I have to say this piece of interactive fiction is so fun to read. I love how everything unfolds, the mystery, the characters, etc. It's all so interesting to read! I like the pacing, the way new information is revealed, how the scenes are written. I like the format & design of the reader as well, it's really comfortable and easy on the eyes. Character customization is surprisingly detailed, in a good way of course. Also... Blake & Rylan have captured my heart haha :) Keep up the amazing work, Author <3
the absolute sweetest. thank you, thank you <3
I didn't think I liked urban fantasy or text-based romances.
BZZZT! WRONG! This story is paced really comfortably, there is not a single main character that's not likable, and, oh, it's late and I still have homework. Oops.
I do feel like the character customization isn't really mentioned in later chapters, but that's hardly enough to put me off because of how well done and charming the story and characters are.
Everyone reading the reviews: play the gaaame! dooo it!!
thank you so much for the compliment! i do recognize that character customization is a bit lacking in later chapters so, as mentioned to other people, i plan to go back and make some changes before the rest of chapter nine goes live. hopefully it'll make playthroughs more individual <3
one of the earliest and interesting ifs that ive ever read. 10/10
thank you <33
I've been coming back to this game for a while and it has its charms. The story is well paced, the LIs are numerous and varied in their personalities (although they bicker way too much among themselves which can get pretty annoying).
My main issue however is with the player character. I have tried a few personality styles and backgrounds and can't help but dislike my own character. Let me explain; at the start of the game you can choose all the usual customization options that are luckily quite varied but rarely come up again. Then you choose an area of expertise like combat or gadgets etc.
The upsetting part is that none of it matters. You're supposedly this expert hunter/agent character but you are absolutely useless in all situations. Did you pick a good fighter? Too bad because you'll get your ass kicked in every instance that a fight is involved. Are you brainy? Doesn't matter because all of the other characters will explain things to you and make all the plans themselves.
Your player character is totally helpless in every situation and I found this to be quite frustrating. They are completely reliant on those around them and without agency except on who they choose to pursue as an LI.
I like this game and I think the author is talented. I just wish that more consideration was taken into making the PC feel more active (and fun to play as) in the story rather than just us the players being told they're good at what they do. From what I played they aren't at all and it makes no sense that any of these people would like them.
i have a lot of variables and admittedly, sometimes i forget about them. this stat is unfortunately one of them. i will take this into consideration the next time i update and add more flavour text where applicable. while this may not change the player character's inner dialogue too much, hopefully it will feel more personal to what you chose.
however, i cannot change major plot points. rylan needs to get away in chapter one in order for the story to move forward. i can definitely change the scene to accommodate the weapons skill by making it seem like the hunter is winning at first, but they cannot win overall. furthermore, the 'fight' in chapter seven, had little fighting in itself and had more to do with the element of surprise. the hunter was injured mainly because they were caught off guard. however, once again, i can do what i will do to chapter one and lessen the damage for those who have high combat skills.
i appreciate the feedback and the constructive criticism. thank you for being kind about it.
Thank you for taking the time to reply and for seeing what I wrote for what it is: constructive criticism. Like you said some flavor text here and there related to the PC's personality and speciality would go a long way in making them more a central and well defined character in the story. It could be little things like characters saying "don't expect much conversation from them" if you play your character as stoic or "you're in your element in this club" if the PC is more outgoing. I'm not advocating for stat checks and I'm so glad you don't have that in this game. It's honestly refreshing not having to stress about that kind of thing.
I get also how this can be difficult since you offer so many choices to every situation which is pretty awesome. It would, I think, be even better if there were just more acknowledgements here and there about it from the NPCs. You put so much love and attention into the NPCs (it shows) and I think the PC can benefit from that too.
I don't expect or think you need to change plot element like Rylan getting away either and absolutely understand that choice.
I'll say this in closing: yours is one of the best IFs I've ever played on this site and I've played a lot of them. Keep up the good work. I can't wait to see what happens next.
thank you!! once again, i really appreciate the feedback and completely see where you're coming from. i'll add more flavour text with the next update in hopes of personalizing the story a little more <33
love this story! Aaaah! Rating of 10/10. Amazing work
thank you thank you !
Came back from having a break from video games, but this still is a masterpiece beyond its years
ahh don't make me cry. you're the sweetest thank you
what will be the last chapter
currently aiming for it to be chapter seventeen or so, with an epilogue to follow. this is the first of a trilogy, however, so there will be plenty more content to follow.